The 3 Types of Facebook Users

Posted: August 4, 2011 in Archive

Here is how I would categorize three types of users on Facebook. There are other types out there of course, but I really just felt the urge to mention these. By no means can one person be perfectly boxed into one, but at the very least you may find it amusing since it probably rings true to some degree within your group of friends. Take my opinions like a grain a salt too, I am no prophet (not yet at least)..

1. The Voyeurs – There are those type who don’t post anything…their essentially shadows with minimal profiles. They work like Zorro in the heat of the night just waiting to pounce on their mistress. They merely sign-in to Facebook to ingest their daily dose of social feeds (as if all the people they scroll through they genuinely care about), get their social fix, and sign-out. Maybe it fills some emotional void they’re not getting elsewhere? Maybe Freud could answer that.  I’m assuming most of these types enjoy using Facebook as a stalking device to prey on meat (i.e., Barstool would translate meat to women).

2. The Critics – Oh, and then there are the critics. They only comment and never post individual status updates. Most of the time they are naysayers, but sometimes not, they could be just Like fanatics. Easier to hide behind Likes I guess. I am not sure why they feel the need to be a critic a majority of the time. Is it the fear of redeeming comments from their peers or is it the lack of likes they may not accumulate or is it the fear of allowing their “friends” to close to their daily lives or they simply aren’t motivated or creative enough to post….we’ll never know. Don’t get me wrong, its fine if you be a critic, but maintain a balance of posts too. I don’t mind these types as long as their participating and aren’t always negative. Because good or bad press is still press – right?

3. The Post Enthusiasts – At last, then there are the post enthusiasts who post oh so frequently…to the point where I just want to delete them as a friend. And yes, I have deleted those I have accepted as friends initially because I find their postings to be obnoxious, self-promoting, and(or) annoying. Like seriously, must you post your saga with your x’s or recite lyrics that parallel with that hard knock life of yours? These types are sometimes so excited to be on Facebook, that they “check-in” everywhere they go too…including eating lunch and going to the gym. Weird and Obsessed? You cannot possibly have that much idle time to be posting 3-5x a day…and if you do why?! Shouldn’t you be learning something…at least watch Jeopardy or Shark Week.

One last thing…Is anyone tired of all the girls who now think their models with their countless defaults? Like how many pictures of yourself must you take? Picture 1 – Me, Picture 2 – me from another angle, Picture 3 – me with my new dress, but tighter, bronzer, and cleavage showing …makes me want to vomit. How superficial can you be? Yes, we get it, your good looking. I can understand if your goal is to be a model or an actress because self-promotion and networking is the name of the game. But, if it isn’t, then that would lead me to believe your only taking redundant pictures of yourself for attention? Cmon now. Don’t you see that guys are only seeing you as a piece of meat, certainly not an intellectual? Knock, knock whose there……no one home?!

I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again dangitt. There needs to Facebook etiquette for the sake of our future generations. Facebook has become embedded into our culture. Just like there are proper ways to read, write, speak, and eat…shouldn’t there be socially correct language for Facebook (and I am not talking about “you cannot write obscene and vulgar stuff….no sh*%.? Am I right though?

Done pontificating for today.

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Comments
  1. James says:

    We can be men!
    or we can be Lycans!

  2. Thomasina says:

    ok like shark week is Amazing

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